5 Tips to Compiling your Perfect Guest List

Creating a guest list for your wedding may seem like a simple task, but once you get started, couples often begin to realize just how complicated it can become.  Here are a few tips to creating a Guest List the easy way. 

1. Decide how many guests you want to invite.  Make four lists: the brides lists, the grooms list, the brides parents list and the grooms parents list.  If you like you may also have one additional list called a wish list.  The wish list can be a list of people you'd like to invite but aren't really sure about.  In each of the first four lists make sure the guests names are spelled correctly and label each with an "A", "B", or "C" notation. "A" standing for those who are definitely invited. "B" standing for those who are most likely invited. "C" standing for those who you don't really need to be there but feel the need to invite them. 

2. Decide on a final head count.  Add your lists together and figure out your final headcount.  If the number is too high eliminate your wish list and your "C"'s from your lists as needed.  Make sure to discuss eliminating guests with parents.  Explain to them the costs per head and why you are choosing not to invite them.  It may help to reassure them that it is not personal, but rather a issue with the budget.

3. Make a Master List.  Use index cards or a computer program such as Google Docs or Microsoft Excel to put your guests in alphabetical order and number the final list list.  If you are unfamiliar with these programs your hawaii wedding planner can also help you with this. You can also put addresses on this list which will come in handy later with invitations and thank-you notes.  Make note of how many kids you are inviting and their ages.  Often times caterers and restaurants charge half price for children under 10 and let children under 5 eat free.  Also, be sure to note how many vendors you have.  It is not uncommon for caterers to let your vendors eat for free or for half price, which could be a huge savings for you.  Remember that having an organized master list will also help your hawaii wedding planner with the seating arrangements, table settings, etc.

4. Don't feel obligated to invite everyone.  It is your wedding, you do not have to give everyone a plus one.  If you have never met their significant other or your guest is single do not feel obligated to give them an extra seat, this is totally dependent on your budget.  Also, consider not inviting children.  It is not uncommon to have an adult only event.  A simple way to do this is to write out the names of the adults invited on the invitation cleverly leaving out the children's names.  Be sure to write a total amount of guests invited as well.  For example: Mr and Mrs. Smith, __ of 2 guests will attend. 

5. Make sure to give a unique number to each invitation.  This way when you get your invitations back you can reference them easily and cross them off your list.  It is inevitable that you may have to follow up with some guests who did not return their RSVP card, but by having your list updated you will easily know which guests you need to contact. 

Guest lists can become overwhelming especially when parents become involved.  Try to keep in mind that this is your wedding.  Ultimately who is on the guest list is in your hands.  Keeping your guest list under control will help you to stay organized and help your wedding planner to create a perfect wedding day.

Invite Nightmare

As long as we're on the topic of invites and guest lists, I'd like to share something I experienced when I was planning my own wedding years ago. And believe me, every wedding, EVERY wedding, will have their share of "nightmares".

Just this morning I stumbled upon a blog entry that was written years ago. BTW, writing blogs is a good way to relieve stress when you just need to vent but don't necessarily want to talk someone's ear off. And that's exactly what this entry was all about, that and the trouble of inviting +1s. For the purposes of this blog, Best Day Ever, I'm leaving out names and the back story, aka drama, that preceded and followed this particular "misunderstanding", it isn't relevant. So here goes:

its like high school all over again!!

then again, not really. never really had myself surrounded by stupid people like i do now. funny thing is its only two people in particular. 

this wedding is coming fast, really fast. in less than five weeks i will officially be [Mrs. U]!! im really excited. not that its gonna change the way i feel about [B], but im just excited for the special moment!!! so along with the wedding comes a buttload of planning. one of the most hectic things so far has been, believe or not, the guest list. heck, i would invite everyone if i could! but reality is, i aint rich. i cant have a guest list of 300 people and quite frankly, i dont think i would want that many people there. it seems like it would dillute the happy ocassion. so anyway, invitations went out last week and we've already received a few rsvps.
OKAY...heres the story. (my turn to vent-and i dont [care] who reads this cause i aint changing no names to protect no one).[names have been changed. we are no longer in high school] i couldve been a real [witch] and posted this on myspace, but that would be sinking to "their level". anyway, last wednesday [B] gets a message from fred, the guy responsible for this whole thing-meaning if it werent for him, bryce and i never wouldve met. here's the message:


From: fred
Date: Sep 21, 2005 7:45 PM
hey man, am i allowed to bring wilma? on my invitation it says one seat saved but it asks how many are attending...can i rsvp for two? let me know
fred

okay, ive only been to two weddings, just within the past year and a half. but common sense would tell me that on a rsvp card, if it says "1 Seat is reserved for you" i would automatically assume that i would either put a "1" if im going, or a "0" if im not going on the blank thats next to "Number of persons attending". what would be the sense of the person inviting you to their wedding to put a number under seats reserved if those invited were allowed to put any number they want on the next line? you just need to think about it for a second buddy. okay, okay...i understand, he figured there was a mistake. fine, i accept the message.
this wedding has got our free time all tied up, so over the weekend b wasnt able to respond to fred's message. monday morning comes around, b checks his myspace. he gets another message from fred.

From: fred
Date: Sep 25, 2005 11:55 PM
alright man... if the invitation was a mistake that's cool. if not then i'm gonna decline it all together. i'm writing to give you a chance to clear things up if indeed it was a mistake. if you really want me there then i come with wilma. she's part of my life and i'm not going without her. so let me know. fred

alrightee, is it just me or does this message seem to have some attitude behind it? "mistake", thats possible, i guess. "i'm writing to give you a chance to clear things up..." im sorry, clear things up? did we do something wrong by not inviting the right people? and according to whose standards? so b finally messages him back, and i decided to do the same:

[b's message:]

sup man,
Sorry i got your message the other day, we've been busy this whole weekend with the wedding planner. as for wilma, originally we did not plan on inviting her. its nothing personal, we just needed to keep it small. we went from 35 people in the beginning to over 145 people (and counting) now. with the minimum of $42 per person (for food only) it started to add up. anyway no worries, i think we can fit you guys in.
later 

[my message:]

hey fred,
sorry for not responding to your message sooner. this wedding has given us little time for anything else. honestly the invitation wasnt a mistake. as much as we would like to invite everyone, we simply couldnt. b and i were fortunate enough to have our parents sponsor the wedding but we still had to keep it within a certain budget, and even now we're still over where we want to be.
we dont want you to think that this is a personal thing against anyone and that we undermine wilma's part in your life. ive already been asked by a few friends if they could bring their significant other but had to decline due to the number already on our guest list. even before sending out our invitations, we had to sacrifice a few invites only to invite others, and believe me, its not a very easy thing to do.
we obviously want you there to share our special day with us, thats why you were invited. we sincerely hope to see you there.
e


and that was the honest truth. its not like this thing is a birthday party and could simply just invite everyone. no, its a wedding, and weddings cost money. honestly, we had to choose...invite wilma, someone we dont know very well, know nothing about, actually tried to talk to her on two ocassions and got nothing, or invite one of our other friends? who would you choose? so b and i chose the latter. at this point, b and i didnt really care either way, if they came or not. this morning i get another message:

well thanks for the invite but i'm gonna pass. that way you can allow one of your other friends to bring their significant other. i'll send my invitation in as a no.
fred

so finally there's closure to the whole situation. they're simply not coming. dont even think for a minute that thats gonna ruin our fun on our wedding day!! funny thing, mr. third grader fred deletes both b and i from his friends list. awww...*tear (left eye)*.

At the end of the day, it's your wedding, your budget, your guest list. You have the final say on who is invited and sometimes you'll have to put your foot down. You'll have to decide what is more important, spending your best day ever with someone you barely know just so a single invite has a +1 or invite someone who is of more importance and relevance to your life.

Your Guest List, Easy as ABC

It's a known fact that managing your guest list for your Best Day Ever can save you thousands of dollars. Just to get an idea of how much, let's just throw some numbers out. Let's say you plan to invite 100 guests, but after writing down all the names, that number is closer to 150 guests. With an excess of 50 guests, how does that translate to dollars and cents? Let's add it up:

Catering      $50/person x 50 guests = $2,500

Favors            $ 5/person x 50 guests = $   250

Chair Rental $ 3/person x 50 guests = $   150

Table Rental    $20/table* x 5 tables = $   100

Linen               $33/table** x 5 tables = $   165

Total = $3,165

*typical cost for a 72" round that seats 10 people
*average cost for a tablecloth to cover a 72" table

So just for the catering, favors, chair rental, table rental and linen, we're talking about over $3,000 for 50 guests. Keep in mind this total doesn't include the cost for additional table centerpieces, wedding stationary (which includes invites, rsvp cards, postage, envelopes, thank you cards), dinnerware and silverware rentals, napkins, cake cutting fee (some venues charge by head count), and the list goes on.

So how do we manage our guest list? It's as easy as ABC. A simple way to manage your guest list is by using the ABC-list. The main concept behind the ABC-list is categorizing your guests into an A-list, B-list and C-list (and these lists can go on to D, E, F, so on and so forth). Your A-listers would be the guests that are definitely invited. Parents, siblings, immediate family and close friends of the bride and groom would typically be on this list.

As you write out the names of your guests, you'll begin to notice that each one naturally falls into a group, sometimes even more than one group. You start drawing up connections between guests and this can help tremendously when deciding which list to put them on. For example, you've got cousin Kathy. You'd like to invite her, but cousin Kathy also has four siblings. If you invite one cousin, you kind of have to invite the others. In addition to your five cousins, who are all married, are their spouses. Already, that group went from one to ten in a heartbeat. On top of that they all have two kids each. Now you've just gone from one to ten, then ten to twenty guests. See how they can all add up?

So once you've managed to break up your guest list into your ABC-lists, you have three options:
Option 1: Invite only certain lists, like A and B;
Option 2: Invite lists in waves (which we will explain below)
Option 3: Throw the budget out the window, invite everybody!!! (which would mean creating the ABC-list was a waste of time)

Option 1: Invite only certain lists.
Depending on how big each list is, you may only be able to invite the A-list. This option is pretty straight forward. Some will make the cut, others won't.

Option 2: Invite lists in waves.
Just a heads up, this option will require a little more work. Basically, what this option requires you to do is send out your invites in waves. First, you send out the invites to your A-list. Next, you wait to receive their RSVPs. Once you have all of them in, you have an idea of your head count. Now you send out the next wave(s) of invites to your other lists. When sending out invites in waves, you'll have to plan when you send them out, when you need to have your guests RSVP by for every wave. This will mean different sets of RSVP cards. Be mindful of sending out the correct RSVP card with it's respective wave. You never want to send out an invite with an RSVP date that's already past.

Option 3: Throw the budget out the window, invite everybody!!!
If you had a million dollars to throw a wedding, then why not, right?

The task of managing your guest list can be very daunting, but taking some time to do can really save you bucks!