Momzillas

Have you seen that show - Momzillas - on WE? I think it's on the WE channel.. Anyway, it's about brides and their mothers. The mothers being the Momzillas rather than the brides being the Bridezillas. Why is it that mothers of the brides seem to think its somehow their wedding. They forget that they are not the ones walking down the isle.. and it is not their day...

Besides being a wedding planner, right now, I am also a soon to be hawaii bride, with a Momzilla. Let me explain.

Favors. My fiance and I decided to do a candy bar instead of favors. Everyone can get their own candy bag and fill it to the brim with their heart desires, and then they have a cute little sticker with his and my name on it and a logo that I designed that will seal the bag. On top of that we also got sparklers for everyone, slippers or flip flops for everyone - which i cleverly labeled "dancing shoes" and put cute little tags on them that also said our name and a  little "thank you for sharing this special day with us", AND I made boutineers for all the guys and hairpins for all the girls. Really cute ones with feathers and little flowers.

Ok - so they're won't be a little trinket like some soap, lotion or tea bag with our name on every seat - but so what .. didn't we do enough for our guests already? AND - usually aren't those little things trashed right after the wedding? My finance who used to work in catering said that at 80% of the weddings he worked people usually left their favors on the tables, and even the clean up crew didn't want to keep them. I mean there are cute favors like - homemade hazelnut chocolate spread and really cool Jonathan Adler vases but instead of that I did these other things, which I thought was pretty cool.  

But - then theres my mother "You're not having favors?!" Completely disregarding the 4 other things I was using that were favors... "You have to have a little something on every seat - You have to! Everyone does that!" Omg. Sometimes I feel like i'm going to k i l l her. She means well but seriously... This is still my wedding. Isn't it? Is it? Sometimes I'm not sure. I decide to give into her craziness and check out the glasses she wants to order that have our name on it and the matches she wants to order that have our name on it. I decide maybe it will be kinda cute if I can send the company the logo I designed. So I check it out and after designing the glass and matchbooks - choosing the colors I like, I find out it's $350 for shipping to Hawaii. $350?!! Thats $150 more than what it costs for the 200 glasses. I call my mom to tell her and say again - We don't need favors. We have enough. We could use the matches for the sparklers but we don't need anything else. I tell her I've already looked at the matches and choose the colors, font, etc. that I like - and that I can order that tomorrow. She completely disregards what I've said and says - "Let me find something else" and hangs up. Calls back 3 more times that night and I missed the calls. Then in the morning I get an email well three actually saying "I decided to just get the ivory matchbooks with the blue writing and the blue napkins with black writing and I decided to just get these fortune cookies from this place that the girls at work said was good - I think that will do. I ordered everything last night." O M G. Who's wedding is it? Do I get any say? I guess not. It's already ordered.

Obviously this is somewhat of a common problem since there is an entire show devoted to it. How do you handle these kinds of things? Suggestions?