Cousin Kathy vs the Wedding Planner

Now that the big rock has been slipped onto it's rightful nesting place, bring on the daunting process of planning your best day ever. If the guys think that finally now they've gone down on one knee and the question has been popped, they can relax a little without the pressure and stress of getting the proposal just right. Think again! Wedding planning as opposed to planning the perfect proposal is a whole another ballgame. The ante has been raised, no longer are you just dealing with the perfect setting, timing, the perfect bling or the sweetest declaration of love that will melt her heart and bring her to tears, now you have to consider the perfect venue, great food, entertainment, decor, seating charts, party favors, a registry, vendor appointments, food tasting, fittings, gown shopping, floral selections, guest lists, timelines, deadlines...the list goes on. While it's very tempting to just have cousin Kathy plan and coordinate your wedding, unless cousin Kathy is a professional, you may still be in over your heads. Here are a few things to consider when wavering between hiring a professional or cousin Kathy.

It's what they do for a living. Planning a wedding is very time-consuming. If you're doing it on your own, it may even feel like a second job. There are calls to be made, meetings to plan, vendors to research. A wedding planner acts much like a matchmaker between the engaged couple and the various vendors. They know which vendor would be most suitable for their client. Cousin Kathy would still have to "shop around" for information what is already part of a wedding planner's expertise.

Wedding planners are extremely organized, down to itty bitty details. With all that is involved with planning the best day ever, every detail has it's place. One must remain abreast with all developments, tasks pending, deadlines and timelines. They know who to call, when to call, and when things need to get done. Without organization, you're more likely to go over budget, overlook certain details, and end up with a wedding day short of being the best day ever.

So let's say you ended up having cousin Kathy plan and coordinate your wedding. On the day of your wedding the dj was a no show, now what? With cousin Kathy running the show, you'll most likely end up with a wedding reception with no dj. On the other hand, a wedding planner would be able to quickly troubleshoot the situation, make a few phone calls, pull some strings and hopefully get a replacement to work your reception. Wedding planners have a developed relationship with the vendors that they'd more likely be able to call in favors.

Planning a wedding entails a lot more than the less experienced may realize. Some things are better left to the professionals. 

Getting Your Groom Involved in the Wedding Planning Process

Just get engaged and find yourself head deep in wedding planning? It is not uncommon for the bride to take on all the wedding planning tasks, leaving little for the groom to do. Perhaps it is because you don't want to burden him or because you know he just really doesn't care. Or maybe you think if you involve him he'll just get annoyed at all the frills of one silly day. Whatever it may be - maybe it is time you started giving this a second thought.

It may sound silly, but a lot of men are worried that they'll just get in the way and express an opinion you won't like. Although that may be true, try your best to be open to his ideas. Take them with a grain of salt and be thankful he's open to being a part of this process. I'm sure if it were up to him you'd have a small wedding and go on an extravagant trip afterwards, but this day is for you.. and he knows that.

So try speaking to him honestly, tell him what your big picture is and explain why it's important to you. Most guys will get motivated just knowing they are making you happy. It's important to ask his opinion, you may be surprised at the good ideas he does have.  After all, he is going through the emotional journey of committing himself you to you for the rest of his life, he might also have an opinion of how that commitment is expressed on your special day.

Perhaps, leave out the frilly stuff, like what store the bridesmaids dresses dresses are from and how cute the one sleeve dresses are that you found for oh so cheap at Forever 21, or how the bouquets cascade down in wonderful aquas and teals or how your the jewelry matches perfectly with the jewels on your new heels, as these are things you know he probably has no interest in, nor can he really offer you any good advice. Do ask his opinion on the food, the booze, the speeches, the music, the entertainment and the honeymoon. Those are fun things you can both plan together.


Once he's on board give him some tasks. Men love clearly defined tasks. Have him do things you know he'd be good at like building the archway or wedding signs, figuring out the table layout or deciding on the beer of choice and ordering the keg. It will be fun for the both of you to take part in this process together and leaving a few key tasks on his shoulders will take a load of stress off of yours. 

Lastly, don't underestimate your guy, or even worse ignore him. To your surprise, many men don't mind discussing what color the wedding tablecloths will be, or how you are going to wear your hair. It makes him excited to see you get excited, so why not start getting him involved? 

How to Create a Basic Timeline

Too much to do but don't know where to start? Best way to tackle this dilemma is to create a basic timeline. For the purposes to illustrating an example, we'll make one for a wedding.

Step 1 - Determine your finish line and work backwards. In the case of a wedding, your Best Day Ever will serve as the finish line and from there you'll set up key events and task check points leading up to your wedding day. Bachelor/bachelorette parties, a wedding shower, bridal shower, engagement party, rehearsal dinner are your key events and check points are when individual tasks need to be completed.

Step 2 - Create a task list. This task list involves every little detail, every little project. Everything from creating party favors to picking a song list to setting up meetings with vendors, making phone calls, sending out invitations, creating an event layout, and so on. Keep in mind that this task list is continually changing throughout the whole planning process. As tasks are added, the list grows and as tasks get completed, the list shrinks.

Step 3 - Prioritize task list. Figure out which tasks take a long time to complete and which ones can be done in your sleep. Give yourself ample time to complete the tasks that require more attention and involvement.

Step 4 - Delegate, delegate, delegate. As much as we would like to think of ourselves as being a superhero with the ability to conquer all tasks by our lonesome, just remember, even superheroes have sidekicks. And what's better than one sidekick? As many sidekicks as you can trust to carry out your task list. Don't be afraid to ask for help, believe me, licking 200 envelopes is not fun.

Step 5 - Synchronize your task list and timeline. Input all your tasks into your timeline. Nothing is easier than being able to turn to a certain date to see which tasks need to be tackled. It's also a great way to see if you're falling behind or if you're all caught up.

Step 6 - Execute. Once you have a better layout of what needs to get done and by when, jump in and execute. You'll feel better with every box that gets checked. Also, be realistic. If you find that a certain task is taking a little longer than expected, take a short break to complete other quick tasks to get your momentum going and then jump back on the more time consuming tasks.

Creating a basic timeline and task list is a great way to get things done. You'll feel less stressed and more accomplished while planning your best day ever.

Personalized Wine Labels

Ever considered getting personalized wine labels for your wedding? You could use them at the actual ceremony for the bar, as table number settings or as guest gifts. What a great way to make an impression!

Writing Your Own Wedding Vows- Should you do it?

Here are a few guidelines to follow if you are considering writing your own wedding vows:

1. Talk to your priest or officiant, your future spouse and your immediate family. Make sure everyone is on the same page and ok with personalizing your wedding vows. Some religions have a specific ceremony that needs to be followed. Figure out how you can fit your vows in. 

2. Do a little internet research. There are tons of resources online to other couples wedding vows. Figure out how you want to word it & what is the main points you want to get across. One of the simplest and sweetest wedding vows I came across went something like this:

Matt I love you because of who you are, your kind, sweet, hardworking, understanding and amazing in everyday.

Matt I love you because when you look in my eyes I know you love me and I know we belong together

Matt, I love you because…

(you can add as many or as few I love you's in here..)

Matt, because I love you I promise to honor you in every way, cherish who you are, what we have, who we are… Because I love you I promise to take care of you, to stand by you, to adventure with you. I promise to devote myself to you and you alone no matter what may come our way, I promise to never give up no matter what, to fight for the love we share in the face of adversity, I promise to love you, completely and with everything I have, today, tomorrow and for the rest of my life and beyond.

It's simple.. starting with a few "I love you's" and ending with a "because I love you I promise to…" You can personalize it in anyway you choose and make it as simple or extravagant as you like.

3. Consider ending or beginning with a love quote or saying. Is there something special to the both of you or a saying that says exactly what he or she means to you?

4. Put everything together and practice. Practice in front of a mirror and practice saying it out loud to a close friend or family member. The more you practice the more comfortable you will be with it. Maybe you might even want to memorize it. 

Personalizing your wedding vows may not be for everyone, but it does allow you as a couple to bring a unique touch that is special to the two of you.  If you are up for the challenge - Go for it!

Five Helpful Tips to Bargain Shopping

1.  Create a Shopping List - As with an shopping trip, jot down all the items to plan to bargain shop for. Organzine the list by "needs" and "wants". Items listed as "needs" would be the things you absolutely have to get and all the "wants" are optional.

2.  Research Items to Purchase - Take some time to get to know what you're shopping for. Find out the range of value of the different items on your list. What are some of the factors that go into making an item more valuable, i.e. where and when an item was made, style of an item, availability or rarity of an item. What is the current retail value of an item? What is it's depreciation value? The more you know about the items you plan to bargain for, the more equipped you will be when making a deal.

3.  Establish a Budget & a "High Price" - After researching the items on your list, create a budget for your shopping trips. Let's face it, bargain shopping is always hit or miss, you'll often find yourself making more than one trip. For each item, establish a "high price", the highest amount you are willing to fork up. The lowest price, of course, would be free. Once you've established a budget and a high price, stick to it!

4.  Layout your Plan of Attack - Look up advertised garage sales, posted on the internet, listed in the local newspapers, or the old-fashion way, signs taped to street posts. Plan a general route through the various garage sales in your neighborhood, making note of any additional garage sales not advertised online. Take a trip to your local open market or swap meet. Most swap meets open early, even as early as 5am. Perhaps plan to check out the swap meet at 7am, spend an hour or so, then drive around to check out the garage sales. One thing to remember about the open markets and swap meets is that they may open as early as 5am but not all the vendors are there. I've checked out a couple of these markets at 7am and most vendors are just starting to set up their booths. Usually by 8 to 9am booths are in full swing, but so are the crowds and the hot sun.

5.  Be Ready to Bargain and Be Persistent - When bargain shopping, it's not always the case that you will find everything in one shopping trip. Be prepared to shop around for the better deals. More often than not, sellers will put a higher value on their items for sale, but stick to your high price to stay on budget. Make deals whenever you can, shooting for a price that's below your "high price". You'll always come across a few sellers that won't budge. Be persistent, but know when to walk away. There's always a good deal around the corner. You can always come back to that item later, and if you've had a few great deals on some things, you may be able to splurge a little on an item or two.

And remember, amidst all the junk are some real treasures. Happy shopping!

Wedding Stress Relief

Invitations, cake decisions, caterers, budget planning, timelines, decorations… It can all get so overwhelming! It is not uncommon for wedding planning to take over your life & make the months leading up to the wedding feel extremely stressful.

Here are a few tips to stay stress free...

1. Organize. Organize. Organize. Make a list of all the jobs you have to get done and break them down into the months that you have left. Do not put too many jobs into one month. Figure out which jobs you can pass on to family and friends. Stick to your weekly list and don't worry so much about the rest. Although it might not seem like it right now - everything will get done in time.

2. Ask for help. You cannot do everything on your own. It just isn't possible. Nor is it very fun (or fair!). Sharing the workload is also a fun way to get together with friends, family and parents. Practice your delegation skills - this is an event for everyone!

3. Don't let planning take over your life! The big day is important to you and those who care most about you but that doesn't mean the months prior should be spent stressed out and going crazy. Remember it is just one day, enjoy the months prior and trust that everything will fall into place. This is the fun part.

4. Take time off. Exercise! Go for a hike, or take a walk. Spend some quality time with your finace. Plan a special "non-wedding-talk" date night. Give yourself a break from your second job & take some much needed time for YOU!

5. Stick to your budget. There is nothing more stressful than managing a wedding budget , however if you set a reasonable budget & stick to it, you will feel much better all around. Sit down with your fiance and have a serious conversation about what your budget is and what you can realistically afford. Stick to it. Go over the budget monthly & discuss how to keep in your range. Remember your wedding is one day and you should not have to pay for it for years to come. 

If you are feeling overwhelmed with wedding planning, try and remember what this whole thing is really all about. This is a celebration of your (you and your fiances) love. It should be fun, not overwhelming and ultra stressful. Step back for a second, take a deep breath and try to follow our basic tips. This is a special time in you life, one that will never come again - ever!, and you ought to be enjoying it!

"Kids, please be our guests"

Often times weddings are geared to entertain the older majority, such as friends, parents, aunts & uncles. But let's not forget that the younger minority are our guests, too. I'm not saying you gotta go and book a clown for your wedding, but put a little thought into planning some activities for the youngins. It could be something as simple as putting an activity workbook together to occupy their attention while waiting for dinner service or even hire a sitter to look after the little ones. Workbooks can be ordered online, or for the craftier brides, they can be made to be a little activity book based on the couple's love story.

Another good idea for kids is having a little area where they can run around, a "kid zone". Kids tend to gravitate to one another anyway, so why not have them hang out in their own little area. This "kid zone" wouldn't have to be really big, kids will naturally want to run around anyway, but this area could serve as their home base. And it doesn't have to be filled with toys either. The great thing about kids is that even at a young age they are pretty resourceful. Maybe have a box of props so kids can play dress up, or even without toys, kids will make up games all on their own.

So, don't forget the little ones when you're planning your next event, whether it's a wedding or a company get-together. When the little ones are happy, so are the older ones (us parents, of course).

 Wedding Day Coloring and Activity Book, photo courtesy of David's Bridal

Custom-made activity book made by the bride herself, check out her blog for more pictures of her activity book

Using the Senses to Create a Better Expo Experience

Nicole and I recently visited our local Bridal Expo. To say the least, it wasn't the greatest experience and we left feeling uninspired. From point of entry till we left the building, I felt like we were walking bags of money rather than future brides planning their "best day ever". Here are some simple tips using the five senses to attract clients to your booth:

The first of the five senses that brides won't be using will probably be their sense of hearing. You know that scene when a pretty girl walks by a construction site and all the workers start hollering at her? Yeah, that's not gonna get attract a bride-to-be to your booth. With all the different conversations and background music going on, it's a little difficult to call someone over from across the room, or even across the aisle. In fact, I just tuned out the noise and let my eyes guide me to the booths I wanted to check out. So as a vendor, if you're gonna cough up over a grand to have a booth at your local wedding/bridal expo, be sure to invest a few hundred dollars into making your booth pop! Create visual interest that can be seen from across the way, that'll attract brides-to-be that are a few booths down or just passing by. Spend the money to create a portfolio or look book that showcases some of your work. Have a few copies handy so when you've got a crowd at your booth, more than one look book can be viewed at a time.

Once you're able to attract visitors to your booth through the sense of sight, you're next challenge will be to get them to stay a while to go over what you have to offer. At this point a simple smile or hello is a good way to acknowledge your visitors' presence. The next senses to come into play are sense of touch and  taste. Cater or cook up some finger foods. Hungry or not people are always drawn to food. Having something to nibble on will allow visitors to momentarily pause in your space at which point their sense of sight will kick back in and hopefully will be drawn to either your portfolios or your next point of interest, samples. Have on display three or four samples that visitors can pick up, probe, examine. It's nice to be able to look at pretty pictures, but to be able to feel textures and view different angles of an object offers a more holistic experience.

And lastly, sense of hearing. Do engage in conversations with visitors, but keep it simple. Visitors will be bombarded with information after visiting even just five booths, so have something that visitors can take home with them like a business card or a watered down version of your look book.

So I only covered four senses, as the fifth is a little tricky. Have a bowl of potpourri, hidden or on display. Make sure the scent is subtle but distinct. While vacationing in Albuquerque, the hotel that I stayed at had a lavender plant right outside the entrance doors. Whenever I walked past those doors, there it was to greet me, a subtle scent of lavender. That was nearly five years ago and to this day, whenever I smell lavender, it brings me back to that hotel.

12 Tips to Planning a Great Wedding

1. Endulge in the excitement of being engaged.  It is only for a short period of time and one of the most exciting times of your life. Live it up, tell people & have fun with it!

2. Try on a lot of different styles of dresses.  You might think you know exactly what you like but until you have tried on a bunch of dresses - you don't really know what looks best on you. Try them all on, you might surprise yourself.  Bring your friends with you!

3. Beware of gathering too many opinions. Ultimately, this is your day and it is your opinion that counts the most.

4. Ask your groom what he wants. He might have some really great suggestions that will surprise you. Make it a point to include something special that day just for him, after all, it's his day too. 

5. Personalize your wedding as much as possible. Guest goodies that are personalized are always a nice gesture. Check out wedding blogs for tons of ideas on how to make your wedding truly one of a kind.

6. Create a wedding website. Organizing all your information on a website will save you tons of time. When guests ask where to stay or for directions... just refer them to your website.

7. Do something extra special for your fiancee. Write a special love note or get a little gift. Let them know how excited you are for this day and how much they mean to you.

8. Set a budget and stick to it.  Skimp on the things you don't need.  Nobody's going to remember if you had plastic plates or how the dance floor was only 6x9.  Figure out what you need and don't worry about the things you wish you could, but can't afford.

9. Plan out the shots you'd like your photographer to get ahead of time. Print out a cheat sheet and ask him (or her) to capture those shots for you that day.

10. Start putting together a wedding binder. Organize all your paperwork, inspirational ideas, venue layout, rentals, etc. Weddings can get overwhelming, staying organized will help you to feel on top of your game.

11. While dancing, whisper soothing things to each other to keep each other grounded. Your adrenaline will be going so fast, this will bring you both back to the present moment and remind you what this day is all about - You!

12. Figure out all the details ahead of time so on the day of you can hand everything over to someone else (or multiple people). Do not stress about the small stuff and try your best not to let anything get in the way of you having the best day ever. All these months of planning come down to just one day… Enjoy it!

Wedding Websites!

Just get engaged?  One of the first things I did after I got engaged was looked up how to create a wedding website. Surprisingly- there are tons of sites that help you create a personalized website.  I came across a recent post in OnceWed.com which featured the Wedding Window, a new site with tons of super fun templates that helps you to create your very own personalized wedding website. . . Don't worry, it's really easy!  In these modern times, wedding websites are the new & hip way to get all your information to your guests (location, map, things to do, hotels to stay at, your couple story, day of events, etc.). Plus, they're really fun (and simple!) to set up. Another cool site that allows you to create fun personal wedding websites is My Wedding. Both sites have ton's of templates to choose from and personalize, both sites are really easy to use, and best of all, both sites are FREE!!

Wedding Present Coupons

Looking for the perfect wedding gift for your groom? How bout something unique, personalized, and extra-special...  like a coupon? Coupons can be created specific for your groom (or bride).. and are designed specifically for you, with your picture.  They can offer anything from "One Big Big Bear Hug" to a "One Wedding Night of your Dreams".  Why not slip a few of these into your grooms card as a special surprise on the day of your wedding?

Here are a couple other fun ideas:

Coupon to...

"One Sexy Massage"

"The Best Honeymoon Ever"

"The Rest of your Life, with Me!"

"A Lifetime of Love"

"One Hot Banana Split"

"No Wore Wedding Talk for the Next Six Months!"

Check out our website to order your personalized coupons today!

Go on a Honeymoon. (?)

Ok - so in addition to being an event planner - I've takin on the ultimate event - My wedding - and come across a little predicament. If any of my brides were asking me if they should or should not take a honeymoon - I'd say - hands down - TAKE A HONEYMOON! Final answer. And then I'd find a way to squeeze it into their budget..

But when it comes to my wedding, to be honest, we hadn't intended on not taking a honeymoon.  After seeing the final budget we just didn't think we could afford it.  And what about the after-wedding clean up? Somebody has to stay at the beach house and take down the gazillions of decorations i spent hours, days, months creating. We thought there was just no way we could take a honeymoon even if we wanted to - so instead, we'd skip it. Save it for later, the next year maybe. 

But lately - I've been reconsidering. 

"You need a honeymoon because the day before your wedding when you realize you still have more than one carload of crap to haul to the venue and you’re about ten seconds away from a breakdown, a passing moment of excitement about your honeymoon can pull you back from the brink.

You need a honeymoon because “OMG we’re married!” is too powerful a squee to be confined to your usual spaces. You need a honeymoon because throwing a wedding is hard work and when it is over, you deserve a vacation. Don’t skip the honeymoon.  You don’t have to budget for a ten-day tour of Europe or a stay in a fancy tropical resort.  Your honeymoon might be a couple nights in a B&B.  But you need some time away after your wedding, even if that time is short and that “away” is not that far."

excerpt from the broke ass bride "Take a Honeymoon".

After $16,000 whats an extra - $300 for a hotel room & $150 for a cleaning crew. . not much right? Honestly, maybe because I've been so personally engrossed in cutting down the budget - to me $450, sounds like a lot. BUT, maybe this is the part that is worth it? The part you will really regret if you don't do it. I mean taking a honeymoon 1 year down the line does it really still feel like a honeymoon? I don't know? If i can tell my clients without a single hesitation to "take a honeymoon!". It really shouldn't be such a difficult decision for me, right?

Thoughts?

~Nicole